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			<article itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Article" data-details='{"title":"Climate-Change Christmas Carols","author":[1536791,"Ethan Kuperberg","http:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/contributors\/ethan-kuperberg"],"wordCount":464,"paragraphCount":22}'>
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					<h1 itemprop="name headline">Climate-Change Christmas Carols</h1>
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					<h3>By <span itemprop="author" itemscope itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"><a href="http://www.newyorker.com/contributors/ethan-kuperberg" title="Ethan Kuperberg" rel="author" itemprop="name author">Ethan Kuperberg</a></span></h3>
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					oh, the weather outside is frightful,			The heat wave brutal and spiteful.			Our crops have no water to grow&#8212;			Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!							Looks like the heat wave ain&#8217;t stoppin&#8217;,			Our dust-storm coughs are a-whoppin&#8217;.			All fish went extinct long ago&#8212;			For the love of sweet Christ, let it...%0A%0AContinue reading at http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/12/22/climate-change-christmas-carols" title="Email"><img src="/wp-content/assets/dist/img/icon/email.png" alt="Email"/></a></li>	<li class="share-print"><a href="javascript:window.print();"><img src="/wp-content/assets/dist/img/icon/printer.png" alt="Print"/></a></li>	</ul>
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										<span class="hideFromView">Credit</span> Illustration by Nishant Choksi									</span>								</figcaption>
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      <div class="scPlayerContainer" data-sctrack="181187568"></div> <div class="poetry"> <a class="tny-slot" name="/2" data-total-words="0"></a><a class="tny-page" name="/1" data-total-words="0"></a><p word_count="28">			<span><small>oh, the weather</small> outside is frightful,</span>			<span>The heat wave brutal and spiteful.</span>			<span>Our crops have no water to grow&#8212;</span>			<span>Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!</span>		</p> <p word_count="28">			<span>Looks like the heat wave ain&#8217;t stoppin&#8217;,</span>			<span>Our dust-storm coughs are a-whoppin&#8217;.</span>			<span>All fish went extinct long ago&#8212;</span>			<span>For the love of sweet Christ, let it snow!</span>		</p><div class="content-ad-wrapper first"><div class="advertisement"><div id="yrailTop300x250_frame" class="displayAd displayAd300x250Js" data-cb-ad-id="yrailTop300x250_frame"></div><div id="yrailTop320x50_frame" class="displayAd displayAd320x50Js" data-cb-ad-id="yrailTop300x250_frame"></div></div></div> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="52">			<span><small>frosty the snowman,</small> may he rest in peace, poor soul.</span>			<span>With his melted nose and his melted mouth,</span>			<span>And two eyes made out of coal.</span>			<span>Frosty the Snowman, did you say his eyes were coal?</span>			<span>Can you pass that coal? We could use some coal.</span>			<span>Let us rob his grave for coal.</span>		</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="26">		<span><small>oh, christmas tree,</small> oh, Christmas tree!</span>		<span>Thy plastic branches don&#8217;t shed.</span>		<span>Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree!</span>		<span>We wish real trees weren&#8217;t all dead.</span>		</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="27">		<span><small>sleigh bells ring,</small> are you listening?</span>		<span>In L.A., hail is glistening.</span>		<span>In New Mexico, there is six feet of snow.</span>		<span>The desert is a winter wonderland!</span>	</p> <p word_count="28">		<span>Gone away is the West Side,</span>		<span>Here to stay is the high tide.</span>		<span>If you want to spelunk, San Francisco has sunk.</span>		<span>California&#8217;s now an underwater land!</span>	</p> <p word_count="40">		<span>In Mojave, we can build a snowman,</span>		<span>And pretend that he is Mom or Dad.</span>		<span>He&#8217;ll say, &#8220;Did your parents escape the horrific flash floods?,&#8221; and we&#8217;ll say, &#8220;No, man.</span>		<span>But you can be our new dad now.&#8221;</span>	</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="28">		<span><small>i&#8217;m dreaming of </small>an ozone layer,</span>		<span>Just like the one I used to know,</span>		<span>Which kept out UV rays,</span>		<span>Before aerosol sprays,</span>		<span>And allowed for actual snow.</span>	</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="55">		<span><small>deck the halls </small>of our mountain hideout,</span>		<span>Fa la la la la, la la la la!</span>		<span>Hope all humans have not died out,</span>		<span>Fa la la la la, la la la la!</span>		<span>Don our hazmat suits on tight now,</span>		<span>Fa la la, la la la, la la la!</span>		<span>Oxygen is leaking right now,</span>		<span>Fa la&#8212;!</span>	</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="27">		<span><small>chestnuts roasting</small> on an open fire,</span>		<span>Cars and houses roasting, too.</span>		<span>Our whole city is an open pyre&#8212;</span>		<span>Put those chestnuts away, we have to leave now.</span>	</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="39">		<span><small>i have a </small>little dreidel,</span>		<span>I made it out of clay.</span>		<span>And when it&#8217;s dry and ready,</span>		<span>Oh, dreidel, I will pray&#8212;</span>		<span>That I can barter you for enough cans of soup to last me through the tornado.</span>		</p> <p word_count="0">&#042;</p> <p word_count="37">		<span><small>silent night! </small>Endless night!</span>		<span>All is dark, there&#8217;s no light.</span>		<span>Cyclone clouds have blocked out the sky,</span>		<span>We&#8217;re almost out of our dry-meat supply.</span>		<span>Sleep in uneasy peace.</span>		<span>We may have to eat Aunt Bernice.&#160;<span class="dingbat">&#9830;</span></span>		</p> </p></div>     
  


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				<p>Ethan Kuperberg is a ﬁlmmaker and a writer for Amazon’s series “Transparent.”</p>
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